As I mentioned the other day, The Husband had his second appointment late last week sometime with The Psych.
I’ve decided that I’m not going to ask him a ton of questions about his sessions, if he wants to tell me he will, other than that, I’m just going to leave it alone. Mainly because I don’t know if a particular session is going to cover things that he thinks are wrong or not. I’m sure if she says anything that ticks him off, he’ll tell me without a doubt. In fact, I’ll probably be expected to back him up and tell him that she’s wrong.
This what I think they talked about, based on what he has said.
He made a comment that what he thinks is happening or is true isn’t necessarily the case, that his thoughts are irrational. Shit, I’ve been telling him that for years! I know, sometimes it takes someone else saying it before it seems real, I get that, still, it’s a bit annoying to have him suddenly say it like it’s the truth after one time. Whether he remembers that every time he thinks something that is ridiculous, I don’t know, we’ll just have to wait and see I suppose.
She told him that I do love him. This is true. I just wish I knew what sort of love it is. That ‘my heart skips a beat’ type thing doesn’t seem to be there anymore. I’ve tried finding it I’m just not sure where it went. Just lately, it seems I’m more apathetic towards him than anything else. After that it’s annoyance. When I see him do nice things with, to or for the kids though I get a little internal smile…
They talked about his colitis. Apparently she has a Crohn’s Disease and she spoke about the effects it has on her life and things she does to relieve some of the symptoms. Stress is one of the major factors and The Husband is under a lot of that lately. According to him though, I don’t give a shit that I’m causing him all this stress and making his colitis worse.
She also said that she’s going to challenge him on things. That the sessions are going to get difficult. He responded that he wants that, that he can’t get better if it doesn’t happen. I’m still going to employ a ‘we’ll wait and see’ mentality on that one.
He’ll be seeing her weekly from now on. After our allowed sessions are up though I’m not sure what will happen. At the moment we are covered by Medicare, so we don’t have to pay anything but when that’s up and the visits are around $300 each, well, we can’t afford that. Not even a little tiny bit.
I’m also worried that even though he’s doing all this work, what if at the end of the day I don’t want to be with him anymore? My friend is convinced that I’ve outgrown him and that it’s only a matter of time before I ask him to leave. Will all the work that he’s done be completely wasted? Will he try and do something to me? I know he’ll try and take the kids away from me.
Speaking of that, he asked me the other day whether Miss Independents boyfriend had ever said anything along the lines of ‘I’ll die if you leave me’ or ‘I’ll kill myself if you leave’. Something that makes her feel obligated to stay. He then said that The Psych told him that could be what is keeping her there. I was absolutely dumbfounded! He has said that if he didn’t have the kids and I then he wouldn’t want to live, that he might even kill himself because he’d have nothing to live for. He told my mother that if I left then he’d take the kids because he’s the one that does everything anyway. How is any of that different from what he’s asking about Miss Independents boyfriend?
I’ve got my next appointment with The Psych this week, so I’ll try and post about how it all goes sooner than I did last time, that’s if I get an opportunity between trying to study and not study too much.
3 in the bed...:
I am not going to make excuses for him but I have advanced Crohn's disease and it, as well as other IBDs like colitis, are strongly stress reactive. Sometimes I get really irrational, from the pain and the frustration, sometimes I irrationally blame those around me. Perhaps that is his problem, I couldn't say. I do know that it is a horrible disease and it can really eat huge chunks of your soul. I am so sorry it has touched your lives, both of you.
Tragic: It's okay, I understand what your saying. It's good to hear from others who have an understanding of it. I guess the way I'm seeing it at the moment is this: I know that stress plays a big part for him and I'm sympathetic to that without a doubt. It seemed like at the time though he was blaming me for it in a way. As if what I've been doing lately is causing him stress (which it is) and I'm doing it on purpose because I don't give a shit. If any of that makes sense. It's strange, when he says things I get the 'real' meaning behind it but when I try and explain it, it just comes out stupidly you know. :-/
Love Em.xx
I suffer the same affliction: I *think* it right, my brain forms it right, but it comes out and I sound like an asshole.. a lot. Love and I both have it, and sometimes, no matter how awesome our communication usually is: we both just tangle around each other and get all pissed off entirely by accident..
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